A Heartfelt Letter And Updates

I've been forgetting to mention that when I met with my new VRC Monday I asked him how the process would work when I'm going to receive equipment from him. Like, I wanted to know whether he'd mail said equipment to me, whether I'd have to pick up said equipment from his office or something entirely different. Because I remembered that when I was a client of Texas Rehabilitation I was never told when I'd receive equipment from said agency. I'd receive things in the mail but I wouldn't know what those things were until I'd open up the packages. I didn't like how Texas Rehabilitation did things that way because I never knew when I was supposed to be receiving things in the mail. So anyway when I met with my new VRC Monday and I asked him about how that particular thing would be handled he told me that someone would probably come to my place to drop off the equipment I receive as well as to train me on said equipment if I don't know how to use said equipment. I'm looking forward to that happening. The only thing that I'm not sure about yet where someone dropping off equipment to me is concerned is whether my new VRC will be able to add the address to my file of the place I'm going to live. Because I think that realistically it would be much easier for me if the equipment I receive from the blind services agency in this state could be delivered to the place where I'm going to stay. Also, I can't receive any mail at the place where I'm going to stay because it's written in my lease agreement that I agree not to have any mail sent to that particular address. The reason that no one can have any mail sent to that particular address is because the mailbox situation is weird. I mean when I'd met my landlords they specifically told me that there was a community mailbox in the neighborhood but that the two of them never check it. So that's another reason why I think my new VRC may think it's too complicated to have my physical address differ from my mailing address. So if my new VRC says that having two addresses for me would be too complicated then I'll just have to have the person bring the equipment to the place that I'm currently staying at. Then I'd have to take said equipment in an Uber vehicle to the place where I'm going to live. And depending on how big and bulky said equipment is, it may be difficult to move said equipment to a completely different location. So we'll see what happens. Yesterday morning I started to order the things that I'd put in my Amazon.com cart because I wanted to see how long it would take for said items to arrive. It turned out that said items would arrive to me within a few days. So I decided to hold off on ordering the items until it came closer to time for me to actually move into my place. A little while after I'd gotten off Amazon.com's website I called the Financial Aid Department at the college I'm going to be attending. I told the lady I spoke with at said department that I wanted to check whether that particular college had received my financial aid information. The lady I spoke with asked me when I'd submitted my financial aid application and I told her that I'd submitted said application the last week in February. She then told me that if I logged onto the college's website and went to the financial aid section of said website I'd be able to see my financial aid status. So once I'd gotten off the phone with her that's just what I did: I logged onto my college's website and went to the financial aid section of said website. From there I checked my financial aid status. It turned out that I still had not received any financial aid. Shortly after I'd checked my financial aid status on the college's website I signed up to receive safety alerts through the college's website that will go to my phone as well as to my school email address. I actually read about the fact that people can receive such alerts when I was completing the online orientation for college. However I hadn't thought about signing up for such alerts since then. Now that I'm set up to receive such alerts though I feel good that this sort of thing is in place for me in case I ever need to know about a safety issue at the college. Shortly after I'd signed up to receive safety alerts about the college I'll be attending I contacted the college again. This time though I contacted the college through the contact form on the college's website. In the inquiry I'd sent the college I asked what the maximum amount of time was that a student could wait to receive his or her financial aid information. In the same message I'd sent the college I also let the college know that it's been more than four weeks since I'd submitted my financial aid information. A little while later I Googled "getting a state ID" for the state I live in because I wanted to make sure that I had everything I needed. It turned out that the only thing I don't yet have is an ID card application. So I then found the number to this state's Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) and called said number. When I'd called said number the DMV's automated system informed me that it would take at least 10 days for the local DMV to send me an ID card application. During that same phone call I also learned of a website that I could go to that would allow me to download the ID card application. A little while later I saved said number into my phone's contacts because I knew that it would come in handy at a later time. A little while after I'd input the local DMV's number into my phone I called said number again. This time though I wanted to know what the local DMV's hours were. Once I'd found out what the local DMV's hours were I saved that information into my human memory. LOL. A little while after I'd called the local DMV for a second time I went through the text messages that were on my Apple Watch series two. It turned out that I had a lot of texts to go through which made the task of deleting text messages from my Apple Watch time-consuming. I guess it's a limitation of the Apple Watch that a person's text messages that are on his or her phone don't synch up with his or her text messages on his or her Apple Watch. I don't like that fact because in all other cases that I can think of, the Apple Watch is capable of mirroring a person's iPhone. I'm sure it's going to be a loooooong time before I get another generation of the Apple Watch but I hope that part of the Apple Watch can be fixed at some point because it's a pain in the ass to have to delete one's text messages one at a time, especially if a person doesn't remember to check his or her text messages on his or her Apple Watch on a regular basis. A while after I'd deleted my text messages off of my Apple Watch series two I read an FB comment that someone had posted on my FB in relation to a status update I'd shared. The FB status update that I'd shared was about how the news saw the guy who'd bombed several people in Austin (the guy was a white male). The article I'd shared on FB then discussed how if said bomber was Muslim the news would be reporting very differently. A hardcore conservative person on my FB friends list commented on the status update I'd shared saying something like "If the bomber had been Muslim the response from the news would've been the same." I immediately replied to said comment saying something like "Not hardly. Many Christians can't stand people of a different faith than they are...especially if those people happen to be Muslim." The hardcore conservative person replied to my comment saying something like "Oh so you're one of those people who lumps people of a certain religion into one group. Do your research instead of just parroting a talking point." I then replied to the hardcore conservative's comment saying something like "It's ironic how you make judgments about me like assuming that I don't look into Things. Yet you tell me that I'm not allowed to have the opinion I do of many Christians and assume I can't form my own opinions about things when my opinions are different from yours." Another friend of mine replied to the hardcore conservative's initial comment and then I replied to my second friend's reply. My second friend and I'd both offered to educate the hardcore conservative but he never responded to our comments. That doesn't surprise me though because in most cases people who talk shit like he was doing, are chicken shit. Those people don't really want to get involved in a conversation. with someone who has a different opinion about something that they feel is close to their heart. This recent interaction I had on FB with a hardcore conservative has inspired me to write the following letter to hardcore conservatives such as the one I'd recently had an interaction with. The letter reads as follows: "Dear Christians, yes I'm lumping Christians into one group, let me make that clear from the start. Throughout my life the Christian religion has been forced on me. Growing up my mom took me to church regularly and I hated every second of it because even as a child I knew that my mom was hiding behind Christianity to justify who she was (and still is). She went to church so that no one would suspect that she beat me regularly, so that no one would suspect that she'd even beat me in church bathrooms. She had to live the way she thought a good mother would live but now that I'm older I know that numerous people saw through her bullshit. However let's go back to the fact that Christianity was forced on me throughout my childhood and young adult life. I was told on more occasions than I can count that if I took any other path than Christianity I'd be considered a heathen by my entire family. As a child and young adult I wanted my mom and her family to be proud of me. As a child and young adult I struggled with the fact that I was not heterosexual like my mom and her family wanted me to be. I believe that wanting to "pray the gay" out of me was yet another reason why my mom took me to church regularly. She also told me on a regular basis that God hated gay people as well as that God hated anyone who didn't believe in him. Every time she told me something like that, I felt guilty for trying to be who I was, for trying to live life how I wanted to live life. To this day I still struggle with my sexuality but the struggle is different: the struggle with my sexuality that I have nowadays is a struggle because many Christians in the world think that homosexuality is wrong. In some ways I still have some internal homophobia that I'm battling because I lived in the state of Texas for my entire life, a state that was what I'd call "the Bible Belt." Well Austin Texas was okay. It's San Antonio that was the Bible Belt. I hated living in the Bible Belt! To my core I couldn't stand living in the Bible Belt. Yet I didn't feel like I was strong enough mentally to unapologetically be who I was...so when I say that I currently battle with my own internalized homophobia the struggle is real. Painful and oh-so-real. Even agonizing at times. So not only did my mom force Christianity on me but I felt like the entire world forced Christianity on me too, living in San Antonio Texas where I swear every single person who lives there is hardcore conservative. In reality though I know that there are a few people who live in San Antonio who are not conservative in any way. I found safety, love and community with those people...and I found the assertiveness regarding my beliefs about how Christianity is damaging to society. It was refreshing to know those people and to have regular interactions with those people because we accepted each other as we were. We didn't talk about God. We talked about our real-life experiences dealing with trauma and how we as human beings have the power to heal our traumatic experiences through our own power...and to this day it's thanks to those people that I'm now unafraid to express what a problem I have with Christianity as a whole. Have your beliefs in God, Christians. Go to church every fucking Sunday if you choose to, Christians...but Christians don't you dare tell fellow human beings who believe differently than you do that they are wrong for having the beliefs that they do. Christians don't you dare make people feel like they are less than you when they tell you that they don't believe in God at all or that the way they believe God to be is very liberal-minded. Christians when you say things like "this world needs Jesus" I doubt that you realize how such a statement pushes people away from Christianity. I think that you say such things because you are under the impression that you are helping the world by saying that the entire world needs a higher power to get them through life. Yet you are only showing people how dangerous it is for anyone to be a part of Christianity. The world needs to lean on each other to get through life rather than on a higher power. The world needs to learn how to speak openly about brutal experiences that they've had and how to not become a judgmental asshole when they hear things that make them uncomfortable. The world needs to learn how not to invalidate other people's experiences, just because those experiences are different from theirs. The world needs to learn how to talk to people without bringing God up ad nauseam because there is much more to life than Christianity. It's a real problem if the only way people can find common ground with one another is through their belief in a higher power. Because here's the thing, Christians: life is fucking hard for everyone! It's hard for anyone to go through trauma, it's hard for some people to get through their workday, it's hard for some people to remember to eat, it's hard for some people to cry...life is hard, that's all there is to it. With that being said, given that life is hard no matter who we are, I urge you to think about the things I've put forth in this letter. I urge you to try to be empathetic towards situations like mine because in the end, it's not going to matter whether the entire world believes in God or not. What will matter is how people have conducted themselves towards fellow human beings. To those Christians that I know personally who are kind non-judgmental people, you are kind and non-judgmental people not because you are Christian but because you know how to treat fellow humans, because you treat fellow humans with the kindness that you like being treated with. So I hope that you understand that the way I'm talking to you in this letter is to make you aware of the struggle that I go through every single day of my life. I write this brutally honest letter because I think it's important for you as pastors to understand how some Christians really create traumatic experiences for people such as myself. Although I don't know if there's a sermon that addresses this type of thing I urge you all as kindhearted people to find a way to share things like this with your congregations. I urge you to encourage people at your congregations of the importance of holding his or herself accountable when damaging things like "If you don't believe in God the way I believe in God, you're a heathen" are said. I know the things that I talk about in this letter are uncomfortable truths that are unpleasant to talk about but what I've written here needed to be said."