Things That Make Me Think And Progress Is Lovely

In the last blog entry that I'd written yesterday I forgot to mention the fact that that same day a friend of mine tagged me on Facebook (FB) in a post that said something like "A person doesn't have to love another person that doesn't love him or her nor does a person have to love someone who loves him or her with conditions." Below the paraphrased text I just mentioned I added that a person doesn't have to forgive another person who's done unforgivable things to him or her." The first post that my friend had tagged me in on FB sparked empowerment in me that felt amazing. Like, I'm really on my own journey now, the journey I want to live. I'm no longer willing to do or say things just to make other people happy. For example if someone who's a regular church goer wants me to go to church with him or her I won't do so now. As I've said before in other blog entries I don't fit in at church regardless of what church it is people are talking about. If someone who's Christian tells me I'm wrong for not being Christian I feel like I'd be strong enough emotionally now to tell him or her that every adult can make choices for his or her life. I'm a lot less likely to buy into people negatively judging the situation with me and the woman who gave birth to me. Whereas in the past I really used to take it to heart that maybe I was in the wrong for not being in contact with her. Anyway back to the FB post that a friend of mine tagged me in yesterday: the article within that particular FB post talked about how women who have freed theirselves from their toxic moms are not only strong but those women have every right not to feel bad or like those women should forgive their moms for what their moms have done to them. The post was empowering and really made me happy which is why I'm writing about it in my blog. I think it's crucial for society to hear the particular perspective I have regarding whether or not the woman who gave birth to me was a mother just because she gave birth to me. It's also crucial for society to embrace that when a woman is not a mother she is not a mother. If a woman does not provide for her child or if a woman is not there for her child in any way then that woman is not a mother. Period!!! No ifs ands or buts about it. If a mother frequently spanks her child so hard and with such frequency that the child has to wear jeans regularly then that woman is not a mother. Period!!! No ifs ands or buts about it. If a woman says to her child "My life would be so much better if I didn't have you" that woman is not a mother. Period!!! No ifs ands or buts about it. If a woman puts her child in a room every chance she gets so that her child is by his or herself most of the time then that woman is not a mother. Period!!!! No ifs ands or buts about it. If a woman physically abuses her child then that woman is not a mother. Period!!! No ifs ands or buts about it. If a woman is kind and loving towards her child and demonstrates that kindness and love to her child regularly those things are what make a woman a mother. If a woman who has a child is emotionally and physically there for her child then by all definitions that woman is a mother. If a woman talks about her child like he or she's a wonderful part of a family then that woman is a mother. Why do you bring up these uncomfortable truths, Chelsea? The reason I bring up these uncomfortable truths is because everything I've mentioned that does not make a woman a mother are things that the woman who gave birth to me did to me. I want to make sure that people have a full understanding of my life's truth even if those people don't want to believe that a woman could do such things to a child that she gave birth to. I'm finally at a place in my life where I'm comfortable saying that the woman who gave birth to me is one of the most awful human beings I know. So the fact that I'm finally at a much better place in terms of how I see my estrangement with her is a huge deal for me. Like, my estrangement from her has quite literally saved my life. My estrangement from her is the best possible thing that could ever happen to me. That's what the article I first mentioned in this blog post was saying: it was an encouragement to women who have freed themselves from their toxic mothers. I wish I'd written the article myself to be honest. Maybe I'll write my own version of that article at some point. Shortly after I'd read the FB post that a friend tagged me in I checked Twitter to see whether someone from Samsung had responded to the last DM I'd sent that particular company. Fortunately someone from Samsung had responded to the DM I'd sent that particular company. In the DM the person from Samsung had sent me the person asked me to provide that particular company with my contact information again. So I immediately provided that particular company with what they'd requested of me. I then sent that particular company another DM saying that I'd like that particular company to sign me up to receive text alerts so that I have a way to know what the status of my gift card is at all times. A little while later the person from Samsung said that she or he'd sign me up to receive text alerts. We'll see if she or he was telling the truth. A little while after I'd exchanged a few DMs with Samsung I started reading a book called The Tao Of Womanhood. That particular book is about empowering each woman to be her authentic self no matter what other people in society may have to say about who that woman chooses to be. The Tao Of Womanhood also explains to women how each woman can find inner-peace within herself and in her daily life no matter what she's faced with. After I'd read The Tao Of Womanhood for a little bit a friend and I looked at apartments for me. My friend and I contacted a few apartment complexes to see if those apartment complexes had one-bedroom availability and if those apartment complexes were within my budget. I left a few messages with a few apartment complexes letting those apartment complex staff members know what I'm looking for as well as giving those apartment complexes my contact information. A little while after my friend and I'd searched for apartments for me I received an email from the apartment complex that I'd canceled my appointment with. In the email the person from that particular apartment complex had sent me the person asked me if I was still considering that particular apartment complex for my new home. So I immediately replied to said email to ask the person whether that particular apartment complex had student discounts. Shortly after I'd sent that particular apartment complex that email I received a response from the same person. In that email the same person had sent me he or she emailed me the same exact thing that she or he'd sent earlier in the day. How ridiculous! I'm guessing that particular response was my answer though about whether that particular apartment complex has student discounts or not. Oh well. A little while after I'd read that email I Googled a few more universities within this state to see if any of those universities have my major of social work. None of the universities that I looked up had my major which wasn't too surprising to me. Shortly after I'd finished looking up universities a friend and I went out to eat with one another. Interestingly while we were at a restaurant I reflected on how awesome it feels to know that only the people I want to know where I am know where I am. There isn't a single person who knows where I am that I don't want to know that particular information. This particular kind of freedom is something that I'd always thought could only be a dream of mine. So to see that this dream is actually fully realized now is incredible. The severe chronic pain that used to be in my back, my shoulders and my neck is only something I experience very little of now that I've physically left numerous traumatic experiences behind. This morning a
friend and I looked at more apartment complexes to see if we could find any that were within my budget. As was the case yesterday I left messages with several apartment complexes letting those apartment complex staff members know what it is I'm looking for. I also provided those particular apartment complexes with my contact information. Shortly after my friend and I'd finished looking at apartments my friend checked the mail. It turned out that I'd received mail from the Texas Health and Human Services Commission (HHSC). The mail that i'd received from the HHSC looked like an application of some sort. Since i'm no longer in Texas though I can't call 2-1-1 because I'd be getting 2-1-1 from the new state I live in. So I emailed someone from the Texas insurance company that i used to be with. In the email I'd sent the person from the Texas insurance company I used to be with I told the lady that I'd recently received an application of some sort from the HHSC but that I could no longer contact HHSC in Texas since I no longer live in that state. In the same email I'd sent the lady from the Texas insurance company I used to have I also told her that this application or whatever it is was sent to my new address in the new state I'm in. I then asked if she'd be able to help me get to the bottom of things and if she couldn't help me get to the bottom of things would she please put me in touch with someone who could get to the bottom of things for me. The next piece of mail that I'd received was my insurance card for the new state I live in. It's exciting that I've received my insurance card because that tells me that I should receive a letter from the SSA very soon too. Things are continuing to move forward!! I love it.