Thoughts And A Busy Day

Shortly after I'd written my last blog entry on Tuesday I Googled Roomster (the website that a friend of mine had recently told me about) where people could see the gender of people who have posted on that particular website looking for places to live and or people to live with. Unfortunately though Roomster's website was not very accessible with VoiceOver on my Mac. Then to top things off I accidentally changed the language that Roomster displayed its website in because the VoiceOver cursor was inside of a combo box that VO wouldn't tell me anything about. So given the fact that I'm the type of person to play around with things I pressed the down arrow when I was inside of the unknown combo box. Once I'd pressed the down arrow inside of the unknown combo box I didn't know what had happened until I'd refreshed the page of Roomster's website. Once I'd refreshed Roomster's website and realized that said website was now in a language I didn't understand I searched for Roomster on my iPhone's app store. Fortunately Roomster had an app for the iPhone which I found right away. Upon opening Roomster's app for the iPhone though I discovered that since I wasn't paying that particular company any money I wouldn't be able to receive full service from Roomster's iPhone app. Finding out that that particular service wouldn't allow me to look for roommates or otherwise find a place to live was disheartening because I would've thought that looking for roommates is a simple enough task to complete. Apparently not, according to Roomster's iPhone app though. Still I did some more problem-solving of this particular situation because I don't give up easily. So I deleted Roomster's iPhone app from my phone then I downloaded said app to my iPhone again. Unfortunately though re-downloading Roomster's app to my phone didn't change things for the better. While I was in the middle of playing with Roomster's iPhone app I received a general response email from the college I'm going to be attending. In the general email I'd received from said college I was given ways that I could request help from people at the college who were involved with technology. I was slightly annoyed at receiving said email because I'd much rather have a response from an actual person. A little while after receiving a general response email from the college I'm going to be attending I read a friend's text message where my friend had given me a couple more book suggestions. Since one of the books said friend had recommended wasn't on Bookshare I emailed the person I know of from the State Library for the Blind and asked whether that particular agency has that particular book in Braille or audio format. Shortly after I'd emailed the State Library for the Blind to ask about a book called Goodby Ed, Hello Me I downloaded the other book from Bookshare's iPhone app. That particular book was called The Confidence Gap. The Confidence Gap is about how human beings mostly think of confidence as something that's easily achievable for him or her. The Confidence Gap shows human beings though that there's also a form of confidence that's the actual physical action of a person carrying out confidence at times when he or she may not actually feel confident in his or herself. For example one thing I want to work on myself is to physically carry out confidence in my walking around all the time because as things stand right now I don't always walk around like I feel confident. Honestly though before hearing about the book The Confidence Gap I'd never thought of confidence as an action. Of course in thinking about confidence being an action now I can see how people would label confidence in such a way. Because when someone tells another person that he or she looks confident when he or she walks it's obvious that the kind of confidence that's being talked about in that particular example is the action kind of confidence. Whereas the feeling of confidence that people feel about his or her ability to do things well, is confidence but confidence as it relates to what a person feels about his or her abilities. Some of the things that The Confidence Gap refers to though are some of the same things that are brought up in the book The Happiness Trap. So I'm seeing some of the same information again which is definitely helpful. Several hours after I'd read The Confidence Gap for a bit I took a shower then went to bed. I even set an alarm to make sure that I'd get up when I needed to do so. Even then though my body knows when I've planned to do something on a given day so an alarm really isn't needed. I'm just afraid that on the day that I don't set an alarm I'll oversleep and miss whatever I have going on that particular day. LOL. Maybe not though. Who knows. When my alarm woke me up at 7:00 yesterday morning I set my alarm to go off again at 7:30 instead. When my alarm went off for the second time at 7:30 in the morning I got ready as quickly as I could. I didn't even have time to brush my hair though because a paratransit driver had arrived at the apartment right as I was gathering my jacket and canes together. I know that if a paratransit driver has arrived to where he or she's picking me up at I don't necessarily have to go outside right then. However I always feel pressured to go outside to meet said paratransit driver even when he or she shows up early because numerous past experiences I've had with paratransit companies as a whole have indicated that if a person isn't out there early there are paratransit drivers who will leave the paratransit client. So I never want anything like that to happen to me again because it's happened to me before. It sucks to be left by paratransit drivers!! I wouldn't recommend that anyone try to have said experience. LOL. Thankfully though this particular paratransit driver waited until I went outside. Then once I'd gotten outside, the paratransit driver put the van's ramp down so that I'd have an easier time getting on and into the vehicle. Once I'd gotten situated in the van the paratransit driver picked up someone else before he dropped me off at my destination. Once the paratransit driver had dropped me off at my destination he was kind enough to walk me directly to the building. Once I'd gotten to the door of that particular building a security guard walked me to where I was supposed to be for my interview with the paratransit company to take place. Right as I'd sat down in that particular area a lady took down my information. Then the same lady took a picture of me so that I'd be able to have an ID card to use the paratransit service. Once a lady had taken a picture of me I had to watch a short video about the paratransit service then I had to sign print paperwork to indicate that I understood how that particular service works. A few minutes after I'd taken care of those things I was called by another person to complete the actual interview so that i'd be approved to receive services from the local paratransit company in this state. Fortunately the interview itself went well. Although it's kind of a shame that people have to make themselves out to be pretty damn dependent in order to use such a service. That particular thing really used to bother me to my core because it's counter-intuitive that in a case where someone who's disabled wants to use a curb-side service like paratransit he or she has to communicate to the person doing the interview that it's a real challenge for him or her to get around. Fortunately though for me it isn't a stretch to say that I frequently need help because I have multiple disabilities, there are times when my Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) acts up and I can't stand outside for long periods of time waiting for a paratransit vehicle to show up at wherever I'm being picked up at. I also wear a leg brace on each leg and I use a support cane for stability in one hand and a white cane for blindness in the other hand. Because of the physical situation that I just described I carry my things with me in a fanny pack or backpack. Because having one or both of those items makes it much easier for me to have access to whatever it is that I need on any given day. That being said, I never take more than I need on any given day and I make sure to have my ID and insurance cards on me at all times. That's my personal experience with regards to how and why I use the paratransit service wherever I go. I'm well aware that other disabled people may not want or need to use such a service for his or herself. Both of those experiences though are equally valid because everyone is different in how he or she likes to travel. After the interview with the paratransit company had taken place the lady who'd conducted my interview told me that if I don't hear anything from the paratransit company by March 22nd of this year then I'm supposed to call the paratransit company to ask a customer service representative who works there what the status of my application is. Since that particular information was not provided to me in Braille though I had the lady who'd conducted the interview tell me the exact date that I should follow up with the paratransit company if I don't hear anything from said company before then (that's where I got March 22nd from). Once I'd entered that exact date into my iPhone though the lady who'd conducted my interview asked me if I wanted to take the print form that had the March 22nd date on it. I told her that I didn't want to take that particular form because I didn't have anyone sighted around to read said print form to me. When I said that, the lady who'd conducted my interview reacted as though I had five heads and 14 toes. She said something like "What? You don't have family here?" I said "No I don't. I actually moved here so that my family wouldn't have any idea where I am nor would my family know what's going on in my life." The lady who'd conducted my interview seemed like the concept of a person not having anything to do with his or her family was foreign to her. As I've said in blog entries I've written in the past, the reason I talk so openly and honestly about the situation with my blood relatives is because people in society need to learn how to be okay with things that are different than those people may be used to. Society needs to learn how to accept that people can be their own person, independent of his or her family. Because as I've also said in blog entries before, not everyone in the world is kind. Not everyone in the world wants the best for people. There are lots of people who do unforgivable things every day. That is a reality for me and many other people in the world. However this particular subject is treated as being taboo because for the most part people don't want to believe that there's such evil in the world. That is those people's prerogative. I choose to fully accept the fact that there are awful, awful people in the world and those people do not deserve my kindness, respect, compassion or love. Anyway once the interview that I had to participate in at the paratransit company was complete, the lady who'd conducted the interview walked me back to the building that I'd first walked into because that particular building was where the lobby was located. As I waited for a paratransit driver to pick me up from where I'd been dropped off earlier in the day I called the guy who's supposed to be my VRC for the area that I currently live in. This time I called him he answered his phone. During mine and his conversation with one another I let him know that I'd spoken with my VRC in San Antonio Texas and that that particular agency had told me that they were going to close my case since I'd moved out-of-state. He said that's correct, that he's going to have to completely open up a brand-new case for me here in this particular state. However he then informed me that he still doesn't have someone sighted in his office to help him and I complete the intake paperwork that's required for a case to be opened for me. As if that wasn't ridiculous enough the VRC who works in this particular area then told me that his assistant may be back to work for him on the 14th of March. Yet he doesn't even know for certain whether he'll really have an assistant at that point or not. The way this particular situation has shaped up so far is bullshit to me. Because for one thing when a blind person is talking to another blind person he or she should know that it doesn't make sense to play the blind card. It just doesn't! There are some things besides blindness that make my life harder than I'd like it to be at times but I don't go around bitching about that. In fact I try not to think about how my circumstances are often so frustrating because I'd be a miserable person 24/7 if I constantly discussed the hardships I deal with on a daily basis. Needless to say the conversation I had with the VRC who's in this area was very frustrating. I don't feel the conversation he and I had with one another was positive in any way because I'm still not able to receive services that I need nor do I even have an idea as to when I'm going to start the process of being able to receive the services that that particular agency provides people who are blind. Like, just because this VRC may have an assistant on the 14th of March does not necessarily mean that I'll be called right away to schedule an appointment to open up a case for myself. Ugh. Hopefully things get straightened out soon where VR is concerned. Although to be honest I don't mind waiting a couple more weeks simply because I'm currently waiting for financial aid as well as my transcripts from Austin Community College to get to the college i'm going to be attending. Once I've received either or both of those things though I'm definitely going to follow up with the VRC who's in this area to see if his situation has changed for the better by then. A little while after I'd gotten off the phone with the VRC who's in this particular area a paratransit driver showed up at my destination to take me back to a friend's place. Once I'd arrived at said friend's place I checked my email. It turned out that I'd received an email from the State Library for the Blind here saying that that particular agency doesn't have the book called Goodbye Ed, Hello Me that I'd asked if that particular agency had in Braille or audio format yesterday. It was kind of disappointing that the State Library for the Blind in this particular state doesn't have a book I'd wanted to read. Not having equal access to books because I'm blind really is a drag. Some time after I'd read that particular email from this State Library for the Blind I texted the friend who'd recently recommended the book Goodbye Ed, Hello Me to let her know that the State Library for the Blind doesn't have that particular book. A little while later said friend told me that I could request that that particular book be put on Bookshare. So I asked said friend how I'd request for that to happen and she told me that I'd have to go through Bookshare's website. A little while after I'd texted back and forth with that friend I looked up how to obtain a state ID for this particular state. It turns out that i'd need to have proof that I live here permanently as well as money to pay the fee to actually purchase an ID card for myself. I'll also need to take my birth certificate to show that I'm a US citizen. So I'm not sure when I'll go forward with the process of obtaining a state ID card but I'm hopeful that I can take care of getting an ID card very soon. Shortly after I'd looked up how to get an ID card in this particular state a friend and I talked with one another about the female roommate wanted ad that I'd written the other day. Said friend also goes to the college I'm going to be attending and he told me that he'd given the female roommate wanted ad to a friend of his who also attends that particular college because she'd told him that she'd post my female roommate wanted ad on the college's bulletin board for me.